Now, everyone knows that zombies are the living dead. Somehow whether if be toxins, magic, drugs or a shovel, they manages to rise from there graves or there “resting place” to attempt to devour that pink thing inside your head.
1. The best thing to know if ever you encounter one who is of the living dead nature is how to defend yourself, and as you all should know, AIM FOR THE HEAD! Be your weapon of choice a gun, a shovel, a dart gun or a cricket bat, aim for the head and you shall be free…if you hit hard enough.
2. Zombies are very…very…very stupid, if you find yourself surrounded by them, relax. Act as stupid, slow, dim witted, and smelly as they do, and you should be able to survive for at least a few more minutes before they devour your succulent brains.
3. And finally, if ever you find yourself unarmed with nothing in sight your best bet is to find a pub with a jukebox with Killer Queen on it and spend the rest of your dwindling hours enjoying the fine beats of everyone’s favorite 80’s band. If your lucking the zombies may just decide to join you in your glorious song and dace and you could be saved!
I hope that these few tips have inlightend you on how to take care of yourself in a zombie take over. As time goes on we will fine tune our skills and defences against the upcoming zombie uprise. For now, be armed, be ready, and dont become bait for your friends! Untill next time!
Gerg Jew
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